Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
