Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
