I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize