She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize