I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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