After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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