Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
