Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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