i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
