Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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