thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize