i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
