if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
