Where is the hickey?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
