I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
