ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
