Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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