You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
