it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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