I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
