I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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