I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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