in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize