I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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