K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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