Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
