they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize