I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
did i walk over a car last night?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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