Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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