I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
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I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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