Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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