Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
