i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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