The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
