I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You took a bar mat shot.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
