What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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