Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
