I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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