No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Boobs speak an international language.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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