Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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