From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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