Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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