allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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