Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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