Three words: puerto rican gang bang
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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