we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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