why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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