i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
