He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
