I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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