i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize