Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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