you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
