I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Randomize
