I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
