I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You made out with two different species that night
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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