It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
