There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
