Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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