I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
