The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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