I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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